Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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