So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize
