Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
