he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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