I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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