So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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