why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
