what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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