I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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