is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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