I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Sorry about my life...
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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