The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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