just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
