there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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