I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
