Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
