i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
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All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
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