So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
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