There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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