Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
