have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
