new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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