I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
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