Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
