Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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