I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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