Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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