Fine. I'll sleep in my office
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I have aggressive nipples.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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