I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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