youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
