He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
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