I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
