He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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