I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i just google imaged poop.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
