drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
She said her name was "party"
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
