i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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