is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Someone shattered a urinal.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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