Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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