Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
