They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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