I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
