I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
