At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
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