You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
meet me or not, i'm out of control
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
