So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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