I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
