Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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