YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
