I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Randomize
