Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize