"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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