Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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