he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
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drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
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You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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