She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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