so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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